Thursday, August 30, 2012

Where is the Strangest Place You've...

In a vehicle:  It is strange, but extremely accessible and easy once you figure out the best place.

We started in the back seat of our Chevy Trailblazer.  I was reluctant to the first time, but we really needed to take care of it so we improvised and used the back seat.  It was easy for about 18 months because we only had one car seat back there.  Once Ian came, his car seat took up the rest of the back seat so we moved to the front seat.  This is not as easy, the seat is angled and it can get a little frustrating.  Ultimately, we found that the best place is the tailgate of our SUV.  It is a flat surface and there is plenty of room to spread out (if we move the strollers out of the way).  I'm not sure if a trunk would work as good as a tailgate, does anyone have any experience that?
Get your mind out of the gutter!

On a beach:  Watch out for sand and sun!

We took the family to our favorite beach a few weeks ago - New Buffalo, MI.  Even at the beach you have to take care of things, so we did.  Right there, in front of everyone!  The issues with the beach is the sand and sun.  You know, sand gets everywhere ....even when you're careful!  It's unavoidable, you're gonna get sand in places where the sun don't shine.  And, speaking of the sun, there is truth to skin being sensitive to the sun.  Even with shade and sunscreen, there was a bad burn on that sensitive skin.  It only lasted a few days, but we felt horrible.
Still thinking about it, huh? 

At a mall: C'mon, you've all though about it.

The last time Lindsey and I were at the outdoor mall we found ourselves too far from a bathroom and our car, so we decided to take care of it right where we were.  On a bench, outside, in front of everyone.  What made it even more strange was that there was a farmers market going on about 50 yards from the bench we were on.  Sure, a lot of people were curious about what was going on.  But ultimately, I think we didn't disturb too many people.  The problem with benches is that they don't have a lot of room.  Sure, they're long but they aren't that wide.  If this comes up at a mall again, I think we'll just move to the bathroom.
C'mon, you should know by now...

On the floor: This makes just about anywhere fair game.

What better place then right below you?  We've used the floor at just about every house we've been to.  It is especially convenient when there is something on TV you really don't want to televised sports, a good action movie, or your favorite TV show.  The floor can seem strange to those who haven't done it before.  And then, there are those people who get concerned when you don't put down protection.  I've been doing this on the floor for a while now, and I've only made a mess one or two times...and I clean up after myself.  So the floor can be strange if you're in front of others, but still a good option.
You're getting closer!

Of course, on a bed: It is where you spend a large portion of your life

This goes without saying.  It is probably the easiest, safest and least strange place.  It's the place that I'm guessing everyone with a kid has tried at least once.  It doesn't have to be your bed, I find one of my friends' bed a little nicer because it is up higher and hurts my back less than our bed does.  The only thing I'd recommend if you do decide to use your friends' bed, is to get permission first.  How embarrassing would it be if they walked in on you?  Take my advice, ask first!  Unless, of course, you are house sitting or they aren't home.  Then by all means, try out all the beds to see which one you like the best.
Did you figure it out yet?

These are all strange in one way or another.  But for me, the strangest place I have ever had to do it was in an....

Airplane Bathroom: Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have done it at 30,000 feet!

I couldn't wait to try this.  You hear all the time how small it is in there and how uncomfortable it was. I wanted to know for sure.  So, when we were flying to FL to visit my parents last November, it happened!  The first bathroom we tried was at the back of the plane and it was a bad choice, the flight attendants actually said that the bathroom in the front of the plane is much better.  They knew exactly what was going to it must be a lot more common than you think.  In hindsight, I think it was a bad choice.  I had no room to move around, my elbows banged on the walls and I'm sure the people heard all the commotion.  There really wasn't much room.  But hey, at least I can say I tried!

Yep, that's a pretty good list if I do say so myself.  I'd love to hear from all of you (and your friends - so please have them read this blog), where the strangest place you ever did it was.  I'll send the person with the strangest place a $10 gift card to Starbucks (haven't tried there yet)!

This should clear the air...
Oh yeah, one last thing.  Don't forget to bring extra bags that are air tight.  The last think you want is for everyone to smell what you've just taken care of. Dirty diapers can smell pretty disgusting.

....What did you think I was talking about?

Thanks for reading!  Don't forget to like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter!

Stay Tuned!

The Diapering Daddy

Friday, August 10, 2012

What Do Cloth Diapers And The NFL Have In Common?

Alright ladies, pull up an extra chair next to your computer and call your husband over.  Tell him that you can finally explain how cloth diapers work.  Who knows, maybe you'll even be able to convince him that changing diapers is fun because of this revolutionary way to explain diapers and how they work.  

Or better yet, once he comes over you can tell him that you finally understand what each position on a defensive line does.  That may really get his juices moving!  ;-)  You see, with this chart I have easily explained to the football illiterate what a defensive line is and does and to the diaper illiterate what all of the components of a diaper do.  

This is just in time for football too, I watched my first Bears game of the season last night....although I did lose interest pretty quickly because it is pre-season.  For those of you that don't know....these games don't really mean anything.  It was strange to see Peyton Manning in a Bronco's Jersey...!

Back to the game changing chart I have come up with.  With the exception of the 2 Safety Positions, this chart is pretty accurate in my mind.  Why?  Good question!  Most of the time you don't double up on the doubler (you don't typically have 2 doublers in a diaper - but you always want 2 Safety's in football), but you never know...I have a heavy wetter and have been know to triple up the soaker pads.

Here's a breakdown of the positions/features starting from the Middle Linebacker/Soaker Pad:
  • Middle Linebacker / Soaker Pad
    • Middle Linebacker
      • commonly leads the team in tackles
      • leader of the defense - without him, defense fails
    • Soaker Pad
      • commonly leads all of the diaper components in absorption
      • catches almost all liquid - without it, diaper fails
  • Tackle / Soft Inner Lining
    • Tackle
      • Makes sure the ball carrier doesn't get up field
    • Soft Inner Lining
      • Makes sure solid waste stays put
  • Defensive End / Leg Gusset
    • Defensive End
      • Makes sure that the ball carrier stays within the defense
    • Leg Gusset
      • Makes sure that the solid and liquid waste stays inside the diaper
  • Outside Linebacker / Velcro or Snap Closure
    • Outside Linebacker
      • Outside containment - keeps everyone contained where they need to be
    • Velcro or Snap Closure
      • Outside Containment  - Keeps all components contained where they need to be
  • Cornerback / Waterproof Outer Lining
    • Cornerback
      • Defend against the pass
    • Waterproof Outer Lining
      • Defend diaper against leaking
  • Safety / Doubler
    • Safety
      • Last line of defense in a play, if a play gets away from defense
    • Douber
      • Last line of defense in a diaper, if a diaper gets too full

There you have it.  I hope this helps my fellow gender  understand just a little bit more about how a diaper works and why they are so intricate.  AND I hope I have helped the female gender understand just a little bit more about how a defensive line works in football.  

I have done a great service to the world with this, I know it and my ego is getting bigger by the minute!  Seriously though, if you have questions, comments, editions, or subtractions to this please let me know.  I love hearing from you.  

Please don't forget to follow me on Twitter @DiaperingDaddy and "Like" me on Facebook, just search for The Diapering Dad.

Thanks for reading....stay tuned!

Dan - The Diapering Daddy