Alright, we're going to talk about cars, trucks, football, and building things. Let's start with cars....actually, let's start with NASCAR! Are you excited for Talldega? I know I am. Jimmie Johnson's on top right now, but can he hold onto it?
Is she gone yet? You know, your wife. I figure after reading that, she has completely lost interest and has already moved on to the next Bloggy Moms blog. That is exactly what I wanted. Now that it's just us guys, I have a few things I want to talk about. I am concerned about a few conversations that I've had over the past few months in regards to Cloth Diapering.
But before I go into that, I want to show you a few things. These are things that should appeal to our gender. When we see things like this, we get excited. We start to growl, spit and hit things. It makes us want to trade in our grocery-getter and buy something with outrageously large and impractical tires, or something with 2 wheels. I know this because I just asked my wife if we could get a Jeep or motorcycle after looking for these pics online.
Without further adieu, I present to you the following pictures. Think about them, think about how proud you are to be a man. Think about how tough we really are. Think about it!!!
Do I hear Tim the Tool Man Taylor growling "MORE POWER"?
I know there's nothing wrong with the minivan, but you're feeling the urge to do something.
This isn't dirt, oil and grime, this is pure beauty! This is pure masculinity. THIS IS OUR MAKEUP!
You're feeling it, aren't you? Male pride, you want to find the closest guy and smack his butt and say "Good Game" even though you may not even know him. You're ready to suit up this Monday and take your rightful spot on the Bears O-Line and give Cutler the protection he needs. You're ready to quit your job and write a blog about being a man. Let's all crack open a beer and sit in the garage and talk about random stuff until midnight while staring at the bicycle you've been meaning to fix since spring. This is pure unadulterated male testosterone! Do you feel it?
Good, now that we're all puffed up, shoulders back chest out and head held high I have a bone to pick with you. Why is it that we love all things dirty, messy and smelly but when it comes to this.....
....I've heard what I can only describe as a grown man acting like a NANCY! How can we be so tough about everything else that is dirty and muddy and messy, but when it comes to a dirty diaper we turn into that girl from high school who complains about how disgusting she looks because of her split ends. You know, she scrunches up her nose and waves her hands in front of her face rapidly while squealing out "EWWWWWWWW". I don't even know what a split end is, but what I do know is that I've seen my fair share of men who have acted just like this when I bring up cloth diapering.
Seriously dudes, MAN UP. It's poop. I know you know what it is, I know you've touched it before, I know that you've done it before. So what's so school girlishly disgusting about it? How is cleaning a dirty diaper any different than washing your hands after your #2 after a night of drinking and Taco Bell. You know exactly what I'm talking about.
So for the sake of all of us, if your wife suggests using Cloth Diapers...or if you are using Cloth Diapers and you've never volunteered to help clean them. Don't be afraid of it. It's not going to bite you, and if it did, that would be awesome! Be a man! You're wife is going to find it extremely attractive, especially if you do it without making a fuss about it.
SO, MAN UP - USE CLOTH DIAPERS - AND STOP WHINING ABOUT IT!
There, I feel better now. I hope I didn't offend anyone, but it's something I had to get off my chest.
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